When she fell pregnant in 2010 21-year-old Holly Griffiths didn't feel the same sense of joy that envelops most first-time mothers.
Instead the long-term anorexic was terrified at the though of gaining weight in order to be able to carry a healthy baby.
The pregnancy was a painful one that saw Holly having to cope with cracked ribs as her tiny frame struggled to cope with a growing baby but she desperately tried to gain weight and eventually gave birth to a healthy baby boy, named Dylan.
Almost three years later Holly is pregnant again, and still in the grip of anorexia. At eight and a half months and weighing just 8st 1lb she will be induced on Monday. Today she appeared on This Morning to discuss her daily struggle to gain weight as she carries her baby.
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Anorexic Holly Griffiths (right) who is eight and a half months pregnant and anorexic appeared on This Morning today along with psychologist Emma Kenny (left)
Talking about her first pregnancy Holly said: 'I didn't ever expect to get pregnant, I think it is pretty rare.
'I was at my darkest point when I got pregnant with Dylan. I was the thinnest I had ever been, I was the illest (sic) I had ever been.
'I had this massive guilt every time I ate because the anorexia still had a massive grip on me. And then I had massive guilt for not feeding, or not considering feeding my child.
Holly Griffiths, 21, has battled anorexia since she was a child. She managed to give birth to a healthy baby boy called Dylan (pictured) when she was 19 and now is pregnant with a little girl she has named Isla
Despite being 32 weeks pregnant in these pictures Miss Griffiths does not look as if she is pregnant at all. She has been is trying to put on as much weight as possible for her baby
Miss Griffiths, is pictured here at 32 weeks. She is trying to put weight on to ensure that baby Ilsa is born at a healthy weight when she is induced on Monday
5ft 7in Holly was eight when she started battling with her weight. She blames her condition on the pressure to look skinny in a leotard while taking ballet classes.
By 12 she had been admitted to a children’s psychiatric clinic weighing just 5st 5lb – about 3st underweight.
When Holly was pregnant with Dylan, now aged two, she was so thin that one of her ribs cracked as the baby grew.
She was induced at 37 weeks and gave birth after a labour of only ten minutes.
Dylan weighed 5lb 10oz and, to her relief, was healthy. ‘I was so lucky he was OK,’ she said. ‘I felt so guilty I had put his life at risk.'
Miss Griffiths admits that when she was told that she was pregnant with her first child Dylan she was terrified. She said she should have been over the moon but was upset she would not longer be able to control her weight
Miss Griffiths (pictured with fiance Harrison Bogbanovs after the birth of Dylan) was so small that when Dylan was in her womb he cracked her rib and started to crush her lungs. Because of this she was induced at 37 weeks
Miss Griffiths is pictured looking a slightly healthier weight while on holiday with her partner Harrison and baby Dylan. Miss Griffiths goes into periods of remission but is prone to relapses.
Now, at 34 weeks pregnant, she has been battling to gain weight before she gives birth to her daughter, who she will name Isla, despite the severe morning sickness that saw her lose 18lb in the earlier stages.
Normally, pregnant women are expected to consume about 2,000 calories a day but Holly, who is engaged to the child's father, gym manager Harrison Bogbanovas, 24, makes do with between 800 and 1,200, eating one slice of toast for breakfast, salad for lunch, and plain pasta for dinner.
Holly, from Greenwich, South London said: ‘I suffered terrible morning sickness which caused my weight to drop, triggering my anorexia.
'I had thoughts of purging but didn’t need to, my body was reacting in its own way. This made eating a lot easier, because I would just vomit it up anyway.’
'I lost a massive amount of weight and then got put on a strict eating plan - nothing rich, spicy or creamy, I needed very simple, basic foods to stop me being sick.'
Miss Griffiths (pictured, left, age six) developed anorexia when she was eight after ballet classes put pressure on her to lose weight. She has fought the condition for years and has gained a healthy weight for short periods of time. In summer last year she relapsed (right) and plummeted to seven stone despite being 5'7"
Psychologist Emma Kenny who appeared on the show with Holly and hosts Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford said: 'The natural inclination to wish to starve oneself is always present in the mentality of any anorexic.
'But what Holly's situation shows is that with intensive therapy and treatment and a belief system that becomes a positive one i.e. I have got to feed this child, the pregnancy can continue and you can have a healthy baby. Also the learning experience in that is that if you put your mind to it you can continue that behaviour and then in the long-term overcome this disorder.'
Holly is carrying a girl that she has named Isla (pictured here in her 20-week scan). Doctors says the baby is doing well and is healthy despite her mother's low weight
Holly has had to see a high-risk maternity doctor, throughout her pregnancy and a 4D scan of the child shows she currently looks healthy.
Holly said: 'I'm not better yet but having Dylan kept me eating three meals a day and kept me from really relapsing or regressing. In the future I'm going back to treatment and I hope to kick it for good, it's really important for me to be able to be something that my kids want to emulate.
'I’m desperate to recover so I can teach my kids a healthy way to approach food.
'I couldn’t bear it if they had body issues like me, so I’m continuing to fight the voices in my head and get better for them.’
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2365311/Days-away-giving-birth-anorexic-mother-Holly-Griffiths-says-STILL-battling-eating-disorder-This-Morning.html#ixzz2ZGL62Mbb
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