Confusion: Couples set out on seemingly care-free casual relationships but end up trying to second-guess each-other's feelings
In the wake of the sexual revolution, at least a third of young people today have had a 'friend with benefits' - sex without commitment.
But a government-funded study reveals more than half of those want something more meaningful.
The casual arrangement has become increasingly popular as research revealed most people see marriage and children as a far-distant question mark to face in their 40s.
However, the undefined set-up is a minefield of emotional confusion that most people reluctantly endure in a quest to find love, according to the report carried out by relationships charity OnePlusOne and youth forum YouthNet.
Men are more likely to have tried it than women, according to the study released today.
But contrary to the stereotype of men as unemotional letharios, and women as love-obsessed tyrants, girls prefer the arrangement.
The study shows 48 per cent of women enjoy casual sex with a friend, compared to 46 per cent of men who feel comfortable having no strings attached.
Emma Rubach, head of editorial at YouthNet, told MailOnline: 'We wanted to better understand what’s going on in young people’s relationships so we can identify opportunities to help young people to develop a healthy approach to relationships from the start.
'It's important because of the number of young people getting involved in this type of relationship - 1 in 3.
'Over half said they wanted more out of those relationship which demonstrates shows what a complex issue it is and how it can lead to hurt and confusion.
'Communication is vital. Confusion and hurt is created when each person wants different things.
'Hard as it is try to talk about it, it's important to initiate discussions about how you both feel and remember to acknowledge how you're feeling rather than carrying on with a situation that might be doing you emotional harm.
'Remember feelings can change over time so keep checking in with yourself as things develop and telling your 'friend' how you feel.
'Both partners have to be very clear about what they want from having a "friend with benefits", and need to talk about their expectations so that there are no misunderstandings.
'Often one person is in love with the other one and hides their true feelings, or falls in love during the relationship, potentially leading to feelings of jealousy and betrayal.'
This emotional conundrum has become a popular storyline in films and TV shows as the trend grows.
Invariably, the characters slide into an emotional mess.
The lead characters in the 2011 film Friends With Benefits, played by Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake, confidently set out on a friendly agreement, before both get confused by their feelings.
Later that year, Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher tussled with the same dynamic in their movie No Strings Attached.
Scared of commitment, Big in Sex and the City refuses to settle with lead character Carrie Bradshaw, and their on-off relationship plays out over the show's six series - and two films.
But despite portraying the inherent problems of casual sex, these films should not be taken as gospel, Ms Rubach warned: 'They have fairytale endings which can be misleading.
'YouthNet runs a guide to life for 16-25’s and its relationships experts advise that young people take time to consider what they want.
'If what they're craving is love, intimacy and long-lasting commitment then a 'friends with benefits' type relationship might disappoint.'
Lead researcher Rebecca Plante, of Ithaca College in New York, has spent years researching the topic, concluding that it encourages people to be unfaithful to their partners.
Friends With Benefits: Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake battle with the awkward dynamic in their 2011
Carrie and Big spend six seasons of Sex and the City moving between a lovers and friends relationship
Popular topic: Many films take up the issue, like No Strings Attached with Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher
In Bridesmaids, 2011, Kristen Wiig's character feels lost and confused as her casual partner sleeps around
She said: 'The sexual context of "friends with benefits" is largely undefined, which can make it very difficult to deal with when or if feelings change, such as when one of the pair wants to end the sex but remain friends or wants to become more than friends.'
An expert on sexuality among young people, Dr Plante said a 'friends with benefits' situation can provide a healthy outlet for sexual needs and desires.
But she warned that complications will almost certainly arise.
She said: 'My research shows that perhaps the most frequent consequence is awkwardness, accompanied by strained or ceased contact and eventually either future hook-ups or the resumption of a non-sexual friendship.
'Friends with benefits is a way to explore some sexuality within a friendship, an existing framework of some care and knowledge of one another.
'Despite the assumption - furthered by films like Friends With Benefits - that the U.S. is a very sexually open culture, sexual intimacy is not well-discussed.
'Multiple media depict sex, but that doesn’t mean that individuals get any schooling in how to understand what they want sexually, romantically and intimately.'
Last year, psychology experts at California State University highlighted casual sex among young people as a priority issue that has direct links to depression and anxiety.
In the largest study of its kind - surveying 3,900 students - the researchers found the arrangement bears no correlation with happiness and good health.
Dr Bersamin, co-author of the report titled RIsky Business: Is There an Association between Casual Sex and Mental Health Among Emerging Adults?, said: 'It is premature to conclude that casual sexual encounters pose no harmful psychological risks for young adults.
'The results suggest that among heterosexual college students, casual sex was negatively associated with well-being and positively associated with psychological distress.'
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2423307/Friends-benefits-Young-people-want-just-strings-attached-sex.html#ixzz2fAX1KagC
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