When we got our first look at "Real Housewife of New Jersey"Melissa Gorga's how-to book, "Love Italian Style: The Secrets of My Hot and Happy Marriage" back in March, we wondered if Gorga's advice on marriage would be controversial. While Gorta touted a philosophy of treating her hubby like a King, she also made mention of "the four tenets to a happy marriage...: respect, honesty, loyalty, and passion." That seemed promising! Right? Not so much.
Gorga's book is all about her marriage and love life with husband Joe Gorga, and it seems that the two have some, ahem, unique views on the way a "modern" (read: not very modern) coupling should work. The book has already drawn heat from a number of publications, and Jezebel has led the charge, thanks to a massive batch of excerpts they published yesterday that are, in the most gracious of terms possible, definitely controversial.
Give the Jezebel piece a read when you get a chance, but if you're in a pinch, here are the 13 tidbits from the book that had us going cross-eyed and yelling expletives in the safety of our own home. No, we're not fans of the Gorgas' brand of marriage - are you?
2. "[A] woman needs to keep herself in shape. She has to be seductive. She must be willing to try new things for her husband's pleasure and her own. And, most important, she has to be available for sex."
3. "Even when I'm exhausted and not really in the mood, if it means a lot to Joe that we connect physically, I'll say, 'I'm not so into it tonight, but let's go.' If it's a hard 'no,' I try to be nice about it. Don't swat him away, or say with a tone, 'Leave me alone!' Eventually he will leave you alone at more than you wish he would."
4. "The way I see it, if a wife is a puttana, her husband will never feel the urge to go outside the marriage to actual whores, or strip clubs."
5. "His style was to make corrections and to teach me from the beginning days of our marriage exactly how he envisioned our life together."
6. "If I ran out to CVS and he came home from work to an empty house, he didn't like it. He'd call me and say, 'I don't care if you're out all day long. But I don't want to come home to an empty house.'"
7. "It's my job to clean up spilled milk. I just do it."
8. "In our marriage, Joe is always the man, doing masculine things. I'm the woman, and I do the female things, including housework."
9. "Girls don't poop. Me, never have. Never will. It just doesn't happen. Or, that's what Joe thinks! We've been married for nine years, and he has never once seen or smelled my business. How have I pulled this off? I don't do it when he's around or awake."
10. "I also aspire to be eye candy for my husband."
11. "Joe never wears a wedding band. Joe has really chubby fingers (he will tell you so, too), and he thinks that a ring is the most uncomfortable thing ever. It used to bother me, but now I just tell myself that a wedding band is more of a chick magnet."
12. "Listen, we all love to hang out with our single friends. Who's more fun? But, let's call a spade a spade. You can't make a habit of it when you are married."
13. "If he gets one ounce of flack from me, he flips a switch and goes off."
"Love Italian Style" is available now...if you're into that sort of thing.
The Real Housewives of New Jersey star and her husband Joe have finalized the sale of their mansion in Montville Township, receiving their asking price of $3.8 million for a property that includes six bedrooms and seven bathrooms.
The couple and its kids are on the way to Franklin Lakes now, where they plan to build their dream home and rent a house in the meantime.
- See more at: http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/stars/melissa-gorga/#sthash.ArtUripb.dpuf